Mr. Unite Us


 The NBA and White Wives

"Girrrlll, that's what they all do: Cling to a sista while they're broke and in school. Then get a contract and put a ring on the white girl hand." Yeah, if you haven't said it you've heard it. The greatest issue in American racism is not separation of the races; in this melting pot we call America, it is actually the sexuality of the races. The notion, the irrational fear, that the black man is some brainless sex fiend fixated on white women, has fueled the hate groups.

Is it a by accident, or coincidence, that the view is still propagated by the media? YAAAMS thinks not. The truth of the matter is that 90 percent of African-American married NBA players (such as Pat Ewing, Tim Hardaway, and Mitch Richmond) are married to African-American women. But most people believe that the majority of African-American NBA players are married to non-African-Americans. Why? Because the media highlights and shows the African-American player's wife who is not African-American five times more than showing the African-American wife. This biased or selective coverage gives people the false impression.

Look at the marital status of the 2001 NBA All-Star rosters:

Eastern Conference
Player Marital Status
Allen Iverson Married to African-American woman
Tracy McGrady Married to African-American woman
Alonzo Mourning Married to African-American woman
Vince Carter Married to African-American woman
Grant Hill Married to African-American woman
Allan Houston Married to African-American woman
Stephon Marbury Married to African-American woman
Anthony Mason Not married
Dikembe Mutombo Married to African-American woman
Theo Ratliff Married to African-American woman
Glenn Robinson Married to African-American woman
Latrell Spreweel Engaged to African-American woman
Jerry Stackhouse Married to African-American woman
Western Conference
Player Marital Status
Jason Kidd Married to Arabic-Indian woman
Kobe Byrant Married to Hispanic-Caucasian
Shaquille O'Neal Engaged to African-American woman
Tim Duncan Married to Caucasian
Chris Webber Not married
Kevin Garnett Not married
Karl Malone Married to Philippino woman
Gary Payton Married to African-American woman
David Robinson Married to Hispanic woman
Rasheed Wallace Married to African-American woman

Other Examples of How the Media Distorts Perceptions During the 2000 NBA playoffs, Shaquille O'Neal, Los Angeles Laker, announced his engagement to an African-American woman. The media did not cover the engagement. When fellow LA-Laker Kobe Bryant announced his engagement to a non-African-American, all the media was abuzz with the story.

Another Example: Despite all the O.J. Simpson trial coverage, many people did not even know his first marriage was to a black woman and that they had three kids together. The media rarely interviewed or featured her; instead, many photos of Simpson and his white wife were constantly in the press. The sad thing is, even before the trial coverage-for years, in fact-groups similar to YAAAMS had been pressuring the media to show more African-American wives of African-American professional athletes.

Mr. Unite Us


Antonio and Kendra Davis. Unfortunately it's not a great shot of Kendra, who might very well be the most stunning wife of them all.

Corliss Williamson with his wife Michelle (left), two kids, and mother.


For all of you that wanted a more flattering picture of KG's wife, Brandi Padilla.

Brian and Gina Grant with their three kids in Miami.

Antawn and Ione Jamison at their 2003 wedding.


Karl and Kaye Malone.

 Desmond Mason's wife.


Michael Ruffin's wife, Mistye and their son.


                          Bill Walton and his wife.

                          I added Walton because I like his Afro      


Mr. Unite Us

Ben and Chanda Wallace

Derrick and Gina Coleman with the kids

Darius Miles and his girl

Gary and Monique Payton

Jerome and Nikollette Williams

Kenyon Martin with his wife, Heather


Shawn Marion and his girl


Ron Artest and his wife

Shaquille and Shaunie O'Neal

Eric and DeShawn Snow with Dikembe and Rose Mutombo

Stephon and LaTasha Marbury


Tracy and ClaRenda McGrady

Vince and Ellen Carter


Allen and Tawanna Iverson

Chauncey and Piper Billups
Pearl Jr

Charles, I love the website that you referred me to.  I went there and found the information to be old and out of date.  In the past ten years Black men with non-Black women has increased 30%.  That was on Oprah just yesterday.


The NBA players are the only ones.  It is in business, corporate jobs, entertainers of all sorts, etc.


When I watched the Hall of Fame awards a few weeks back.  I had to watch Warren Moon with his White wife and Reggie White with his very White looking wife--heck I couldn't tell, she looked White to me.  You don't see successful White men with Black women at rates even close to this.


Check out the US Census Bureau and it gives stats on this, but it takes a while to figure it out.  I'm talking about Black men who earn more than $100,000 annually are married to non-Black women and it is growing at an alarming rate.  This is detrimental to the progression of Black people.


Much love to you my brotha,


Pearl Jr.

Mr. Unite Us

I think it would be great to interview these Black couples

and found out why they married each other.







This is so funny my boys and I were just talking about this yesterday!!  Let me tell you guys a story... I knew this white girl that worked at my friends hip hop clothing store in the fox hills mall. He had such a great connection with a lot of NBA players, they would come into his store and do the majority of there shopping there.


Well, one day this ball player came in to his store,my boy the owner of the store helped him out, cashed him out.. On his way out of the store, the White Woman that worked there stood right in his way hopping to get his attention, she went as far as dropping a shirt in his path.. But he kept walking!!


I do believe that White Woman are easy,money hungry,lazy,etc.  The reason I say this.. Is because this White Girl that worked for my boy was married with 2 kids. That wouldn't stop her from screwing a ball player or anyone else that had any kind of star status and money.  I mean she would brag to some of the employees what a certain NBA player had bought her.. This woman ladies and gentleman is the only White Woman that works at your local radio station in Inglewood. I'm not player hating.. I'm just warning all you ball players,bingo players,card players,valet attendants,dish washers,cooks,bus drivers,limo drivers,etc..If you see this White Woman throw her a dollar,pennies whatever you have in your pockets. And maybe, we hope that she'll stop being so SCANDALOUS!!!   Peace..

Pearl Jr

The Gold Digger Lie Leads to Black Male Failure

by Pearl Jr


My Godmother has been married for 45 years.  Her husband has always been the major breadwinner.  While she worked, off and on, selling Avon on the side or having a part-time job nurturing either children, the sick, or the disadvantaged, I would marvel at her because she was the Black woman being taken care of by a Black man—a regular man who worked in a meat packing house.  They have been homeowners for 44 years, raised great kids, and he retired after being employed for 45 years on the same job, and now they live comfortably in their older age. 


I remember my Godmother telling me that when she was dating her (future) husband, she would be HURT if he got paid and didn’t buy her something like a new dress, a piece of jewelry, a fancy dinner, or arrived to pick her up without a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  She said he made her feel loved, honored and cherished.  She simply fell in love with him and they always had such a wonderful time because his kind gestures broke down the barrier that makes women skeptical.  In reality, too many men have dishonorable intentions.                                                                                 


Time and time again, I hear from Black men that Black women are gold diggers.  My wonderful and loving Godmother would have been thought of as a gold digger in this day and time.  But due to the low resistance of men to do whatever they could to earn a woman’s love, many couples have made a wonderful life together.  My Godmother knew she had to tap into a man’s masculine trait so to establish a secure home for him, her, and their children.  Today, if she tried the same thing, she would be a part of the epidemic single Black female that would probably end up being a single mother with no man to provide and protect her and her children.  Black men have lost their way in what is their duty and have confused their purpose with labeling Black women who want anything from them as gold diggers.


The way my Godmother needed verification that the man that was courting her was serious about a relationship with her, is probably similar to the way that many Black women behave today.  Only now Black men have been taught that it’s a disgrace when a Black woman asks for a $15 pedicure.


You see the success of their relationship was based on knowing each other’s role as a man and as a woman.  He knew he had to provide for her to have her for himself.  She knew that he needed a goal and a purpose in life to provide and protect her because when she put it out there; he gladly took the role of supplying her with everything that she needed.  Of course, she would work sometimes, but it was to keep herself busy while the kids were in school or to have spending dollars to buy something special for the kids or surprise him with a lavish gift for his birthday.


There is absolutely no proof that Black women are gold diggers, just the complaint of it, and a reputation that is self-destructive for both the Black male and female.


The Black female gold digger unsubstantiated reputation leads to Black male failure because the male species is motivated to acquire and achieve so to please and have a woman of his own.  This is natural, innate, God-given, and normal. 


Labeling the Black woman as a gold digger has serious consequences that demote innate motivating factors for Black men to achieve and acquire.  The gold digger lie is a deliberate distortion of gender roles and is another method to destroy Black love, which inevitably leads to Black male failure, and that is directly tied to Black race malfunctions. 


As far as Black women being the nurturer, she needs to be provided and protected so she can concentrate on her duties as a woman and not have to worry about paying the bills, protecting her children from harm, and feel secure enough to love the man that provides for her unconditionally.


The male species is built to be the provider and the protector.  On average and on every level that judges what gender is the strongest and the tallest, the male wins hands down.  The male’s major job is to provide and protect his family and his group.   


Females are the natural born nurturer because she alone gives birth to off springs.  Due to women being smaller and physically weaker (pound for pound) means that she must lean on a man to provide and protect her. 

Now due to the woman’s movement and industrializing lead by Westerners, physical strength is not as imperative as it once was, but due to natural selection, which means that any species adapts to their environment and builds on the necessary physical traits that are needed for survival, could mean that men could get smaller and women could get bigger. (Black women have always worked since capture from Africa.  This de-feminized Black women)

Since popular opinion suggests that we want to pretend that gender doesn’t matter, there may be a serious price to pay one day.  When examining the hyena, the female hyena is growing a penis while the male’s penis is shrinking--making it difficult to detect which gender is which without a thorough examination of their genitalia.  The female hyena is one of two land mammals that are matriarchal.  She no longer needs the male hyena to provide and protect, so nature is taking its course to exchange one gender with the other.  Check out the link below to read it for yourself.


Is it possible that this gender reversal can happen within the human race, the Black race?  Well it’s very possible.  Black men have loved the stereotype of being well endowed and if natural selection takes place just like with the hyena, then Black men’s penis’ will begin to shrink if something isn’t done to re-masculate Black men.  


You see in today’s time, Black men are confused as to their role in relationships.  The Black man wants to acquire all that life has to give, but isn’t being motivated properly due to the promotion of the Strong Black Women, who can do everything by herself, which simply makes the Black man (eventually) feel inadequate and be a failure at doing what nature built him to do.


To add insult to injury, the bling-bling media lie tells Black people that if they do their people wrong, they will win and that includes Black women, who are constantly being portrayed as hos and bi-at-ches.  After all, Snoop Doggy Dog is an ex-con for selling drugs to his people and 50 cent was shot 9 times, was an ex-drug dealer with a gangsta persona that now has all that life has to offer.  Most Black people believe that 50 cent just woke up one day and decided to be a rapper and BAM fame and fortune followed in a matter of weeks.  These treasonous fools who are spreading lies about life are simply being used to destroy their own people.  Make one rich so to destroy millions is money well spent. 


Tell Black men to spend every dollar he earns on meaningless items and White women, and he’ll do that each and every chance he gets.  Meanwhile, tell him if he spends one penny on a Black woman he is a fool and she is a gold digger, and he’ll believe that even though there are no massive amounts of Black women living well from some Black man’s money. 


Most Black women live in the ghetto.  Most White women live in big houses and are unemployed.  I mean damn are they seeing the reality of life or believing the hype? 


Believing the hype about the Black gold digger simply stops the recycling of Black dollars and puts the money right back into the man’s hands.


The Bling-Bling culture has turned too many Black men into males with feminine traits, who are looking for a woman to take care of them.  Wearing more diamonds (in two ears and aren’t diamonds supposed to be a girl’s best friend) than women and being more concerned about attire than most women.  I even heard Tavis Smiley comment to a male guest on his show, “now you like clothes like I do, and out of all the movies you’ve acted in, which wardrobe would you have liked to own?  What Negro?  All I could do was change the channel and shake my head and say, “you too Tavis?”


To learn about what to do about this disturbing trend that falsely labels Black women gold diggers when I don’t know of many Black women who are living rich off some Black man’s money, you can read my book, Black Women Need Love, too!  I know there must be a few, but damn that number must be under 5 percent.


Most Black women work to have what they want and it’s non-Black women with the big houses on the hills, fancy car that her man has bought, and the freedom to spend his hard-earned money on whatever she chooses.  This Black gold digger lie is simply put out into the world to de-motivate Black men, which leads to massive failure and under achievement.  I bet the Black woman who expects nothing less than the best from her man will have the best or will be alone waiting for her dream husband that doesn’t exist.


In reality, we Black women are the ONLY women that accept, love, give to, and have sex with men that have nothing.  The proof is all around us—the single Black mother living in the ghetto is the woman that accepts Black men unconditionally.


The lie about the rampant existence of the Black female gold digger must be put to rest. If we don’t diffuse this lie, then statistics like this will grow:  In highly populated Black communities, the Black male unemployment rate is as high as 75% in such cities as Gary Indiana and Milwaukee Wisconsin the high school drop out rate is 85%, even though the population is growing.  We must teach Black young men that their responsibility is to provide and protect the community and their families.  Black men are walking around confused about manhood due to lies that are in rap crap music and the lack of the father figure that teaches his son what his responsibilities are as a man.


These are some of the reasons why it is important to spread the message that Black Women Need Love, too!  To re-motivate Black men and give them direction to what their duties are as men.  In my book, Black Women Need Love, too!  Exposing the Conspiracy to Keep Black Women Without Love, I break it down and give techniques, strategies and motivating methods to return Black men to their thrown as Kings for their Queens.


Brothas, if you really believe the Black gold digger is in abundance, then use her as a source of inspiration to achieve and prosper, and not as an excuse to abandon, fail, and hate.


Order your copy today, it could be the most important book you ever read.  Black Women Need Love, too! Available on




Pearl Jr what are you talking about? Abandon, Fail & Hate, Single Mothers? Lets talk about the real damage to Black Relationships, and some of the symptoms and possible solutions.

1. No "Black Man” wants to come home and battle a Woman, who thinks she is the man, That is until the bills arrive.


2.When a Black Man has something worth fighting for, he will! A Black Man does not want to fight for something that he feels is half his. When you have a Woman that only does her duties predicated on what she thinks the other person in a relationship will do, then this is a design for failure.


3. Someone has to be in charge. We all work for ourselves… “Hopefully”, (but usually for other people/companies) and have no problem being told that an individual is our "BOSS". The problem is that at home, someone has to be accountable just like at work, and when the Black Man tries to fill this position he has a fight on his hands. Many Black Men have noticed (with shock) how a Black Woman will "crack" every molar in her mouth to smile at a white boy, but will not speak to a Black Man who says hello. If this is an example of the Black Woman’s treatment of her natural mate, then why all the surprise when the Black Man seeks out comfort from "other" women?


4. The Black Woman has a serious problem with her self esteem, it doesn't matter how loud she proclaims to be Black & Proud, her appearance says other wise! With all the phony hair extensions, wild hair colors and plastic nails, it is a wonder that any "Brothers" are married to Black Women at all. Yes, a “Brother” should not spend $15.00 for a pedicure, that in all probability will end up in the hands of some Korean women, who is keeping her home peaceful (clean) and sending her children to college. Most of these primping techniques that Black Women employ, are for other people to see, usually males other than her husband. And if not married, these visual stimuli are used to attract a man.  I am not against a Black Women presenting herself in a dignified manner, it is just that the phony props get old fast. You can walk around in Los Angeles all day and not count 5 Black Women who wear their hair in it's natural state.


5. Cooking, Cleaning, Washing etc. I am sure this sounds strange to many Black Women, but they are duties that sometimes they may be called upon to perform. Unfortunately, after performing such basic duties, some Black Women feel as if they should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.


6. There would be no Single Mothers if these Black Women would keep their legs closed until marriage. The more successful races are able to do it! How many pregnant Jewish, Japanese, or Korean girls do you see walking around under the age of 20, or 30 for that matter?


7. The Re- motivation of Black Men will have to come in the form of action and not talk from The Black Women. Black Women start looking like yourself, make your potential husband feel and believe he is Number One. I can guarantee you that the chance for a successful lifetime partner is great with the correct approach. Black Women, stop hanging out in the streets and nightclubs. YOU WILL NOT FIND A HUSBAND, PROVIDER, FATHER, OR PROTECTOR IN THE NIGHT CLUBS! Try Church, The Mosque or School.


8. Pearl JR, how about a better title for your book...How Black Women Can Get The Love They Want. Yeah, that would be subject matter that is a little more difficult to write about.

You are right Pearl, we have too many Black Men acting out with feminine traits, but again 90% of the traits are derived from being raised by Mommy, and no FATHER. Let's try and correct this problem at it's source. NO MORE CHILDREN BEFORE THE AGE OF 30, AND NO UN-PROTECTED SEX UNLESS YOU ARE MARRIED!


9. Lets abandon the terms “Thick, Big Boned and Healthy,” when referring to Black Women and their physical size. The correct terms would be Obese or Fat! Yes, Sisters like it or not, most women who start out over weight in a relationship, rarely make it to the altar. Do not get mad, I am just stating that facts. How many of these so-called sellout actors, athletes or professionals are seen with women who a 5” feet tall and 300lbs, we all know the answer………none! So we need to stop fooling ourselves and address the real issues, in order to catch a man and keep him, you must first be a WOMAN and look like who you are supposed to be! Not some European copy. Black Women keep yourself physically fit, and attractive. Stop putting chemicals in your hair that cloud you thinking. The Sister that are married, stop putting on an extra 50lbs every six months during your marriage. No man wants to come home and make love to a Sumo Wrestler!


10. Please stop reading books that do not address real life issues, we have enough feel good B.S going on in the media.


I once heard someone say that when you are at a point where you would marry yourself, then you can honestly offer yourself to someone else. Sounds like solid advice to me.


Camille Brown
The topic of relationships is an important one.  Health and wellness, just as much.
However, I wonder if it is possible to have these discussions from a more uplifting
perspective.  The best relationships start with love - love of God, love of self, love of others, love of service, love of beautiful, love of things good, love of the positivity, love of edification.

I try as often as possible, not to stereotype a whole group of people.  Some men are good listeners, some men are hard workers, some men are good cooks, some men a physically fit, some men are profoundly insightful, some men are intelligent, some men are well read, some men are lovers, some men are fighters.  The whole matter is that through faith in God, I know that the man who is "meet" for me is out there.  I am not on the "hunt" for him - I'm just working on myself until we meet and when I am presented with the opportunity to love the man that God has elected and selected for me - they'll be no need to "stereotype" him or demean him based on negative or hurtful experiences in the past.  The past is the past.

Love begins inside of you - and you don't have to hate on the appearance, health status of level of self-motivation within others. 

I love humanity and whenever I have the opportunity to inspire someone to operate on a greater level - I welcome it.  Instead of criticizing overweight women - why not walk with one in your own family.  Everyone carries their pain in a different way - some people overeat, while others are downright boastful.  I find it hard to believe that a person in a truly loving relationship could have so many venemous utterances.


Good friends, real friends are those who often agree with us, but will straighten us out when the need arises. Pearl Jr., my dear and beloved sista, you need a circle of female friends with whom to discuss your view of Black men.  Why don't you contact Camille Brown to see if she is willing to befriend you.  Perhaps other sistas on this board that have a balanced view of Black men will contact you and they can help you to get a rounded, well-adjusted perspective. I have no doubt your heart is in the right place and with a few well-rounded sistas listening and giving you feed back that you take to heart you will be a jewel.

Pearl Jr.

First of all, none of you have read my book, Black Women Need Love too!  There is no way that I can explain an entire problem and solution in less than 2000 words. 


To get a thorough understanding of what I think and what I'm promoting, you must not look for what is missing instead see what is there.


If someone doesn't like the title of my book, write your own and name it what ever you want.


At the African Marketplace, I saw hundreds of Black women with natural hair, yes many of their hair color was changed to gold or red because we are girls who like to wear makeup but on earrings and color our hair to look a little exotic. 


I wear my hair natural but I dye it to add some spunk and spark to the style like many women do even with dread locks or twist or braids. 


I think the people on this forum are into arguing and not really looking for something positive and then draw from it.  I talk to women all the time and I talk to men constantly.  I received about 60 emails everyday and I answer every single one of them about social and personal issues.


I can't be accurate unless I talk to men and women about their plights.


If you think someone should be my friend, have them email me and I'll entertain a conversation or a friendship with them.  That is who I am.


Now for the important issue, Black men have let down Black women and DAMN IT, we don't get pregnant by ourselves.  The reason you don't see Asian women walking around pregnant could be the FACT that their men take their responsibilities seriously and don't just hit and run.


For whatever stupid and ignorant reason, we have learned to blame the victim Black woman for the pregnancy when we all know that it takes both the man and the women to make the pregnancy happen. 


Black men aren't being responsible or respectful.  It is only natural to want to keep the baby, to kill the baby is abnormal.  To get pregnant is normal--the body prepares to get pregnant every month and when we don't that is why we have periods--the eggs dispels from our body unused.  The problem is not the pregnancy but the lack of participation from the father of the offspring, not taking care of his responsibilities.  I'm so sick of the stupidity involved with blaming the woman.  She just happens to be the gender that carries the embryo.


Men don't ever think of how difficult it is to take care of a child by themselves.  The diapers, the crying, the illnesses, the bottles making, affording the formula, the late nights, the loneliness because the poor woman has no one to love her, honor her, cherish her, or provider for her.  The worries that if the rent doesn't get paid, she and her child will be out on the streets. 


Black men, you are letting us down and making excuses to continue to do so.  Take care of your duties as the provider and the protector and you will return to your throne, period.


Without the Black male making serious changes in his behavior, we will all suffer.




Much love to you,


Pearl JR.


I don't have wimp ass sympathy for Black men, only tough LOVE to encourage change.  LOVE a Black woman, it will change our lives.


I once heard a statement that said "The Sting In Any Rebuke Is The Truth"!


No arguments here Pearl! This is a blog that people post comments for dialog. If you think you are going to make outlandish statements and not get challenged ( replies), then maybe you should not post here.

That is what the "Reply" button is for at the bottom of the page. Maybe we could have brother Charles remove it on your post.


There really is no need to buy your book, anyone can see that if it follows the same mindset of your post, then it is dangerous to any young impressionable person, and should not be read.


Please don't try and justify Blond, Blue, Green, Striped or whatever silly Dyed Naturals some Black Women are wearing today. It looks silly to most people, especially Black Men. Can you only imagine going out to a fine dinning establishment, with a Sister that has a Green "Natural". Why is it that we continuously want to present ourselves as other than what we are? I know..... it is the Black Mans Fault!

Pearl, some of your post signal serious psychological work that is needed, unfortunately that simply cannot be addressed here in this forum. What can be addressed is this paragraph..........


You Wrote...

Black men aren't being responsible or respectful.  It is only natural to want to keep the baby, to kill the baby is abnormal.  To get pregnant is normal--the body prepares to get pregnant every month and when we don't that is why we have periods--the eggs dispels from our body unused.  The problem is not the pregnancy but the lack of participation from the father of the offspring, not taking care of his responsibilities.  I'm so sick of the stupidity involved with blaming the woman.  She just happens to be the gender that carries the embryo.


Men don't ever think of how difficult it is to take care of a child by themselves.  The diapers, the crying, the illnesses, the bottles making, affording the formula, the late nights, the loneliness because the poor woman has no one to love her, honor her, cherish her, or provider for her.  The worries that if the rent doesn't get paid, she and her child will be out on the streets. 


First let's dispel that Little subterfuge you tried, NO ONE EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT KILLING OR ABORTING BABIES. Now we can get back to the real issue that you are greatly confused on..............


So we are to understand that because a women has a period, she needs to get pregnant? What man respects any women who lets him have marriage privileges, without making the commitment?

When a so called author advocates having un-protected sex in this "Aids" ridden society, then cries "Victim" because of her voluntary action, and complains about how hard it is to take care of a baby, then we have truly hit bottom.  And keep in mind that some women do this not once, but several times, with different men, and still have the nerve to look shocked at the end results.

Pearl This Is So Ridiculous. but I know..... it is the Black Mans Fault!


I can leave with this most important point.  The single parent issue is destroying our future as Black people here in the USA. We are playing right into the hands of "White Supremacy Planning" regarding our future Children. The unthinking selfishness of one person, can ruin the future of their children for generations. WHAT ABOUT ALL OUR FUTURE BABIES BEING RAISED BY PEOPLE WHO THINK LIKE THIS SO CALLED AUTHOR????? Boy we have some work to do!


I am sorry for the rough approach everyone, but as a Black Man I cannot let this kind of garbage go unclallenged.